knitting, that's it. and "Hi Mom"

knit and art. knit and art. knit and art.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Doctors and Extreme Kntting

This is a true story. The names of the characters involved have not been changed so to fully impact the reader with the consequences of drug behavior. Drugs aren't pretty. And neither are doctors who prescribe them. In fact, Dr. Payne is not a pretty man at all. He prescribed all this medicine. He KNEW I was knitting, yet he still prescribed them. I knit in his office and he could see that what he was doing bordered on insanity. Yet he still handed me the drugs and told me to call him next week if its not enough. I had to take them....because compliance to military medical doctors is required. the new teammates
He gave me drugs. Lots of them. Its for the shingles (the darth vador march plays loudly in the background)... and its accompanying post herpatic storm troopers. These guys are deadly, cruel and viscious. They get on your nerves and try to take you down cell by cell, leaving you as a mindless zombie to follow the will of the Emperor of the Dark Side, who wants to stop the ALKAL, and all knitting throughout the universe.

Dr. Payne said the only way to fight them off is to give them the medicine to repell them. The risks were great. He warned me that I may not be able to knit (function) on them. Even though it would make knitting more difficult, I just can't let the Emperor and his nerve agents turn me from what I know has to be done. I'll fight. I'll take the medicines the doctor gave me. I must kill the enemy nerve agents. Neurotinin, Lidrodermpatch somethingorother, Darveset, Atarax, Clonepin, and Ambien CR, its time to work. But something goes wrong - I quickly realize that I could be unconscious in a matter of moments. I can't feel my hands (or my feet which seem tohave fallen into a state of paralysis. I think we wont try to do those sequential steps we call walking, tonight. I'll call in one of the jedi knights to bring me my tea). Mu-s-t Fi-gh-t to s-t-a-y aw-ayyy-ke.

I know the mission. The sleeve must get done in order to save the Republic, the ALKAL. The whole integrity of the ALKAL rests on getting this mission done - because tomorrow is a different mission of much greater importance (I have to teach art to 5 year olds). Why are there 3 sets of needles in my sweater. Which is the sleeve? OOOH pretty little tweety birds - they're not suppossed to be here. That doctor - did I check his credentials or background? Was he from the dark side...a secret agent of the Emperor? He's not going to thwart my mission. I've knit in tougher places before. This is going to require me to go into Extreme Knitting mode. I have to simulate from two charts with different row counts, 8 and 13, to come up with sleeve edging (heavy gunfire is heard in the background, the storm troopers have broken through the seal on the hatch and I'm hiding in one of the egg modules (my chair). Get over here Quinacridone and Shingles. Gidget! Mona! I need all reinforcements to the bridge NOW. Reinforcements
"The doctor must have been Darth Vador wearing human clothes. I'm pretty sure of it. We still need to somehow attach this arm to the body of the bodice. Gidget, you're the one to do it! The force is stong in you. You're going to have to lick my face and see if that will release enough serotonin that I can get my hands to work. That blank empty stare told me she could handle it.

It was about 4 hours later, and we could relax finally. The evil drugs did not prevent me from getting the knitting done.

Mission Accomplished. We saved the ALKAL.

I think its pretty mindboggling that I could knit, much less design a cashmere cardigan while enduring a severe case of shingles. I deserve a comment for that.

Oh, and I’m calling her Lacey Shingles Cardigan...for obvious reasons.


At June 13, 2006 7:38 AM, Anonymous cindy chapman said...

beautiful sweater! amazing that you can do that on all those drugs! Get some rest! Hope you get better soon.

At June 16, 2006 7:26 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

Your sweater is amazing!! I was clicking back through hoping to find the pattern so I could go get it!!

Hope the drugs are helping your shingles!!

At June 16, 2006 9:57 PM, Blogger KNITWHIT said...

So, like, do you think if I took those pills I could knit and design like you???

I couldn't knit like that on a GOOD day.

At June 18, 2006 4:06 AM, Blogger EvaLux said...

First of all... sorry you have the shingles... had them and know how painful they are!!!

Second... that sweater is simply gorgeous!!!! Where can I get the pattern??? It is an absolute MUST HAVE!!!

Cheers Eva - PS: I walked over from the Amazing Lace KAL blog

At June 19, 2006 10:48 AM, Anonymous laurel said...

I am totally impressed, and that cardi is stunning. Nice work!

At June 20, 2006 3:20 PM, Anonymous Rachel said...

Hooray! The day is saved, and all those who would do harm to the ALKAL are vanquished once again!

At June 25, 2006 7:45 AM, Blogger Pennie said...

That is beautiful. I'm speechless at how lovely that looks . . . I'm jealous . . . I haven't attempted lace yet :)

At October 09, 2006 6:26 AM, Anonymous SusanCannizzaro said...

This is the most beautiful sweater I have ever seen. It is so beautiful....I just love it. Are you going to sell the pattern? I hope.....please....I really would like to have it.....


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